MidWife????

So, we were pregnant.

My wife is Brazilian, and in Brazil, once the couple finds out they are pregnant, they don't wait the 3 months before telling everyone.  Me, worrying that we hadn't even seen a medical professional to confirm that everything was going swimmingly, wanted to wait that obligatory 3 months before telling the world.

So, as my wife and I do on many life subjects, we made a compromise.  We would tell our close family and wait till the holidays to tell extended family finally revealing it to the world in January.  Since we had already planned on seeing my parents in a day, we would tell them there.  For her parents in Brazil, a Skype call was scheduled.  I made a point to call my Sister first so she would be the first person on my side of the family to hear the news as well.

There was a touch of melancholy in telling her parents as during the Skype call, her Father came home and we found out that his Mother had just passed after a long illness.   He did congratulate us although he was feeling the sadness that one only feels when they lose a parent.  The call ended with everyone agreeing that where one life might end, another would begin.

Since my mother made it her mission since moving from Michigan down to South Florida to bring up how she wanted another grandchild, we planned their big reveal carefully.  I know my parents well, so could almost script how this would play out.  Once at their house, we brought up that we got some news from Brazil and that my wife's grandmother had passed away.  My parents offered their condolences and my wife said the words that we spoke with her parents earlier:

"Well, where one life ends, another begins."

My mother, as if on cue, responded:  "Does that mean you are pregnant?" in a completely joking manner.

"Yes!!!!" my wife exclaimed.

The look on my parent's face was priceless.  Shock, disbelief and elation all mixed up into one face.  They were very excited and really happy for us.  Hugs were dispensed all around.

So, with the family out of the way, the business of trying to get ready for this pregnancy really started in earnest.  Books were ordered.  Research was done.  Advice was requested.  A week or so after the big reveal to our immediate family, my wife casually asks:

"What do you think about natural childbirth?  The kind with a midwife rather than in a hospital?"

WHAT?!?!?  Really???  My mind immediately thought, "No Way".    I work in the IT field and it is my job to think of points of failure and to simultaneously analyze worst case basis scenarios as well as best case.  I thought that it wasn't as safe as a hospital birth.  I thought that the many miracles of modern medical technology also extended into the delivery rooms and are designed to help expectant mothers.

Basically I had no clue.

I answered her "Um, as long as it is safe I am open to the idea".  Now, I didn't think there was a chance at all that a home birth was as safe so saying this was a pretty sure bet in my mind.  Plus, I didn't want to immediately shoot down my wife's idea....after all, it wasn't me that was going to have to actually birth our child.

Now, my mother had worked in hospitals for a good majority of my life, so I always felt comfortable in them.   My wife on the other hand didn't like hospitals.  Several of her friends had home births and raved about them.  She asked me to watch a documentary about hospital vs natural births and while at first I was hesitant, I did agree.  I had visions of hippies having babies in the mud and doing nothing but criticizing the medical profession.  I did not want to watch a one-sided point of view on this.  This was serious stuff for us so I wanted to get as much information as I could.

The documentary was well done and honestly, after watching it my views on delivering a baby with a midwife vs in a hospital did change.  I was very open to the idea of a midwife delivery.  Of course I wanted to insure that both my wife and our child would be safe in the event of something going wrong....any good father/husband I am sure would feel the same way.  But we were over the big hump, and we started to plan for a midwife delivery.

If only every decision that we had to make would have been that easy.....

It Begins

"I'm late....."

I look over at my wife on the sofa across our living room with my eyebrows raised.

I reply, "Really?"

"Yes...."

This was over Thanksgiving weekend.   Of course we had discussed having a child.  That is one of the prime areas that you HAVE to discuss before as Beyonce says you 'put a ring on it'.  From whimsical discussions to more serious, we had had them in the weeks/months preceding this day.  In these discussions I told her that I was NOT going to be an 'Old Dad', being 43, my 'conceive-by date' was fast approaching.  I had told her that I was ready whenever she was and to just let me know and we would start trying.  Of course, discussing having a child and actually being pregnant are two different things.  Now this was getting real.

But things were not supposed to play out like this I thought.  We had been married for less than a year.  We were going to sit down and plan this out.  I had visions of ovulation schedules and temperature ranges.  There were some things that we HAD to take care of before we would commit to conceiving.  My wife hadn't worked steadily in almost a year.  We were making it but it would be nice to have a bit of a cushion in the bank.  Several other thoughts popped into my consciousness.  But as we make our plans, life laughs and decides to throw a sack of monkeys into those plans and cause chaos.

"So.....what's next?" I tentatively ask.

"Well, I was going to wait until Sunday and then get a test." she tentatively replies.

"Sounds like a plan" I respond.  Followed by "Do you FEEL pregnant?"

"I don't know"

"OK, well, let's just wait till Sunday and we will get the test"

The next couple days by and we enjoyed the long weekend.  That said, there was that 500lb gorilla in the room that was coming up on Sunday.

Sunday morning comes as I am drinking my coffee we have this conversation:
"Honey, I do have this test that I bought a while ago that I was going to try"
*Note: this test is from before we were married and together.

"Um, why don't you head to the store and get new ones.  Because no matter how that test comes out, you are going to want to do another one just to make sure.  Do you want me to go with you?"  I respond, trying to be supportive.

"That sounds good. You don't have to go, I will be back in a few minutes."

Well, after the first test, there was a second and even a third the next day.  The results came up really quickly....we were pregnant!

Little did I know what I was in for....:)

Up Next:  Natural Birth?!?!?!